Believe me, it wasn't easy to find peace with it. I had outlets for my anger in becoming a Phantom Thief, but it was my art that truly suffered. Being a student of such a terrible man, I felt... tainted. The purity I'd strived to emulate with the "Sayuri" had been stained by the person I had called my Sensei.
[He looks down at his hands, frowning.]
Suddenly, I was aware of impulses like wanting to paint for recognition, or to make money, and it terrified me that my need for both things might turn into selfish desires like his. I had artist's block for many months, and at one point, considered whether I should give up on art altogether... but Akira was always there, to encourage and support me.
[Really, he relied upon him for so much, it made it that much harder when he'd suddenly had that support wrenched away -- to say nothing of the lies Akira was forced to maintain. Perhaps that was even more painful than having his entry fee itself stripped away from him.]
no subject
[He looks down at his hands, frowning.]
Suddenly, I was aware of impulses like wanting to paint for recognition, or to make money, and it terrified me that my need for both things might turn into selfish desires like his. I had artist's block for many months, and at one point, considered whether I should give up on art altogether... but Akira was always there, to encourage and support me.
[Really, he relied upon him for so much, it made it that much harder when he'd suddenly had that support wrenched away -- to say nothing of the lies Akira was forced to maintain. Perhaps that was even more painful than having his entry fee itself stripped away from him.]